Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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