I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
