remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
