Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do herpes really smell.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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