definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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