that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
