Already got asked if we're dating
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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