I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
