Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
try to milk me bitch
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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