North Korea, Best Korea!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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