my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
