she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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