If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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