i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
