I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
