Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
