do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
