some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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