I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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