i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
