Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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