remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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