So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
