He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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