i think my tv is drunk
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize