I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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