Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
