What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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