my sisters under your porch take her home
two words: eviction party
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I want her autograph on my taint
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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