why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
