i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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