He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I bet he comes in French.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
