You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
