i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
are you so shy because you have an std?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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