is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
