I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
