Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
