If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
