yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
