That's intense
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
