the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
