shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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