i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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