If i come over, it means nothing
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
