Tell her she can't have a vagina
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
