He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
