i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
