yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
