i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
