I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
