Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
