Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
