Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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